Understanding Introverts can be a difficult task for people who have an extroverted personality, and the problem is more in introverts in relationships. Living with Introverts can be challenging, but understanding introverts will help you not to read so many meanings in their gestures.
Introverts can be one of the most complex, yet very straightforward persons to deal with. The main reason why other people think they are complicated is because of how reserved they usually are. Most of the time, people may misunderstand this silence to mean that they don’t care enough, or that they are annoyed at you or something. And in trying to get them to cheer up, you may end up frustrating them into annoyance. But there are 6 ways you can easily get to know and live better with introverts without being annoying.
This post is actually based on a question I was asked on my quora page; How can I easily get to know people who have an introverted personality? Well, I am not a psychologist, but I have heard people make comments like the ones below about introverts:
Before you meet them, you think they are quiet
When you know them; you wish they were quiet
And when you know them, and they get quiet, you get worried.ANONYMOUS
The real problem is that people tend to read unnecessary meanings into one’s temperament at every point. While this might be true for people who are openly expressive (extroverts), those on and off moments usually mean nothing for introverts. Because remember, as psychologists described them; they usually need time to recharge after a bout of chit-chats and talky-feels.
So let us quickly launch into the 6 tips that will help you in Understanding Introverts Better.
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1. IF THEY ARE JUST RECHARGING, MAINTAIN THE CALM
You may have seen one or more of your introverted friends just sitting by the corner, and maybe with a neutral facial expression. The first logical thought from someone who may not know them, but sees them in such a condition might be that something is wrong. And if the person is caring enough, would like to know what is wrong, and help them find a solution.
But it is good to note that for most introverts in such conditions, there is usually nothing wrong with them. All they might just need is to spend some time alone to recharge from long hours of social interaction. So disturbing them in such conditions to find out what is wrong might just be wrong and annoying, assuming they have already told you that they are okay.
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2. FOR UNHEALTHY INTROVERTS, THEIR MOUTHS LIE MORE THAN THEIR BODIES
An unhealthy introvert is one who is yet to accept that they are normal. They usually want to be like extroverts, so they could feel more accepted by society. The reason being that most persons in society are usually structured to think that being outspoken is healthier than being reserved.
So such introverts think that being quiet is abnormal and usually feel insecure about most things. They will usually lie about their feelings just because they think it is awkward and weak to have feelings.
These are the type of introverts who make introversion appear like a complex trait. If you are friends with such introverts, then you should pay more attention to their body language than what they say. Because they might appear to be okay, and even say they are fine, but might secretly need a shoulder to cry on.
But with better understanding, unhealthy introverts will learn to be confident and more comfortable with expressing their feelings. They will learn to accept themselves as they are, and become healthy introverts.
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3. MAKE THEM TAKE PERSONALITY TESTS AND STUDY THEIR RESULTS
This might sound a little bit creepy, but one of the best of the 6 ways, you can easily get to know introverts without being annoying. What personality tests do is that it helps to fix someone’s behavior into a stereotype, and bring out possible outcomes to how they are expected to act in a given situation.
Some of the scientifically proven personality tests include the Enneagram, Meyers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), and the temperament model. You can get reliable tests for Enneagram and MBTI by clicking on their links.
One disadvantage of these tests is that in reality, humans have no formula. For instance, the factors that affect human reaction to a given scenario are many which cannot be covered in a simple test, but you will still find some truths within these tests.
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4. FIND OUT THEIR HOBBIES
The real secret behind who people are, usually lies behind what they find most interesting in life. This truth is not lost on introverts either. In most cases, our passions define us, and what we do is a direct/indirect product of what is going on in our minds.
So to get to know introverts better, find out what they like most, what they enjoy doing, who they hang out with most, and most importantly the topics they usually like to discuss.
5. INTROVERTS CAN BE NOISY
One other infamous notion about introverts is that they are shy, too afraid to speak up in public situations. While this might be true for some, for others, you just just haven’t struck the right chord. There is this saying that if you start a discussion with introverts on a topic they really care about, they will keep talking for days.
Also, introverts are very open and better relaxed while spending time with people they are comfortable with. But will appear reserved while staying with people whom they have less confidence in their understanding.
The reason is that introverts usually hate small talks or chit-chats, but prefer conversations that have a direction and purpose.
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6. INTROVERTS CAN BE CRAZY TOO
One big mistake one can make is to take introverts to be unserious because of their reserved nature. The truth again is that you might have not yet struck the right chord. For such a group of persons who do not usually say much, when they do, take them seriously.
And don’t be surprised if you see them over-reacting, for such persons who rarely react, such situations really touched them badly.
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Introverts are just like every other person out there, and they should be treated like every normal person. Most misunderstandings of their behaviors are usually caused by trying to read unnecessary meanings to their silence or their reaction. They all mean nothing that is not ordinary.
I hope these 6 tips help you in understanding introverts and living with them better.